I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
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I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
