that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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