So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
