i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
