Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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