...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
