If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
