So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
