The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
