it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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