She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I think people are normalizing furries
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
