My brain says no but my pants say off.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
