My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
