The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
