Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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