Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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