think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
