Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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