All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
