Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I hope mine doesn't look like that
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
