I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
