Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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