Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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