you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
