Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So vagazzling was a success
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
