I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
