cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
