Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
