I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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