on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
