He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
