oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
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