Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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