cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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