This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
