I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
