I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I understand Curling. That high.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
