i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
