I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
