I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
