I think I am morally bankrupt
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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