If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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