Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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