I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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