yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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