What a fucking waste of an outfit
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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