What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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