Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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