is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
