ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
